Dine & Dash
by Editor-Bug
Summary: One busy day at Mona Pizza, a really cool new customer shows up. But much to Mona's dismay, the jerk tries to skip out on paying for his meal! No way is she letting that happen, no matter how cool he is! One-shot! Some Mona X Wario. Read & review if you like!


(A/N: Hey, y'all! My first WarioWare fanfic...! I got into this franchise relatively recently and _really_ got into it after playing WarioWare Gold. Such a fun game. Anyway, I doubt you clicked on this for my ramblings, so READ ON)

* * *

 _Ding-ding!_

Mona nearly dropped her tray. "Oh man, another customer!"

After a hasty "enjoy your meal!" to her current patron, she snatched up a menu and darted to the table of the newest one, which she leaned against to catch her breath. "Welcome to Mona Pizza, here's a menu!"

She felt it be taken from her hand.

"Sorry, I'm exhausted from the lunch rush...!" She looked the customer in eye. "Whoa. Mister, you look so COOL!"

"Cool?" The pudgy, big-nosed, mustachioed man said in surprise. "I mean, of course! I am-a Wario, after all, weheheheh! Sooo, I'll have- -!"

"Wario's your name?" Mona eagerly sat across from him. "Oh, you gotta tell me how you got your mustache to do that!"

"Ehh, it's actually natural- -"

"And is that," Mona inhaled deeply. "Garlic-scented perfume?"

"Really prefer the term 'cologne', but yes; I got it on sale- -"

"Ahhh!" she interrupted, doing a playful swoon. "A man after my own heart! Hehe! So, do you live here in the city? Just passing through? How old are you? Are any of your clothes custom made? What's your favorite sport? Favorite sports team? Do you even like sports? Why are your ears so pointy? And wha- -?"

"MONA. It's Mona, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Pizza now, questions later."

"Huh?" Mona noticed the long line of customers that had formed out the door. "Holy pepperoni! I gotta get to that oven!"

"Hey, I didn't order yet!"

"Oh! Of course! What would you like, sir- -uh! Wario?"

Wario held up the menu once more. "Gimme a...boneless deep dish pizza, heavy on the tomato sauce, stuffed crust, every kind of cheese, topped with pepperoni, sausage, red, green & white onions, olives, mushrooms, peppers, scallions- -"

"Sorry, no scallions."

"Use shallots, then. AND don't skimp on the garlic!"

"Gotcha!"

Mona zoomed into the kitchen and dropped off Wario's order as she sped past his table before he could even say "hurry up!" Pleasantly surprised, Wario dug in and finished his pizza at an almost equally impressive speed. He scanned the restaurant for Mona and saw her attending to the other customers.

"Mona. Mona," he whispered. "Mooonaaa. Oh nooo, didn't hear me. Guess I'll just have to leave without paying."

He slipped past the crowd and through the restaurant doors.

Meanwhile, though Mona appeared to be swamped, she was able to take orders, make pizza, and think of questions for Wario all at once with relative ease. Figuring she could squeeze in an inquiry before the next wave of customers, she returned to his table.

"Hey, Mr. Wario, I- -huh?" She found nothing but a tray with a couple crumbs on it. Hearing a noise, she looked out the window and saw Wario revving up a motorcycle. Steam practically shot out of her ears and her face scrunched with anger. "A dine and dash, huh...? NOT ON MY SHIFT!"

She threw her helmet on and dashed out of Mona Pizza.

"Joe, hold down the fort for me!" she called back to her manager. "I've got a cheapskate to catch!"

"Wait, what?" Joe looked at the seemingly endless ocean of hungry townspeople. "Aw, man..."

Once outside, Mona hopped on her scooter. It didn't take too long for her to gain on Wario, with both vehicles were zooming up the street at incredible speeds. She got just close enough to pick up that garlic scent.

"WARIOOO!" yelled Mona. "STOP!"

"Huh?!" Wario glanced back at her. "Can't say I expected that...well, time to lose this loser!"

Determined, Wario weaved and bobbed throughout the traffic on the rather packed roads, but Mona continued her pursuit with minimal difficulty. The longer this went on, the crazier the maneuvers became and the more desperate Wario got. He even swerved under trucks and made jumps over convertibles. Mona saw him drift around a corner into a tunnel and followed him in only to be met by a bus speeding right towards her.

"YIKES!"

Skidding to the right, she pressed her scooter up against the wall so the bus could pass. She shakily emerged from the tunnel only to spot Wario driving over it.

"Grr! That was a dirty trick!"

That much more resolute, Mona made her way up to the bridge and began catching up to Wario again.

"PAY UP, WARIO!"

"HUH?!" Wario glanced back again. "You're back?! Argh, not for long!"

He pulled into the Diamond City Park and Mona followed him somewhat hesitantly. The vehicles weren't very kind to the grass, but at the very least, nobody was getting run over.

"Haha, perfect!" Wario cackled as he approached an empty playground.

"You really think that's gonna work?" Mona said under her breath.

Wario was using basically the same tactic as he had in the road, so she was able to keep up with him. Right when she was about to grab one of his bike's oversized rear exhaust pipes, he drove it through the sandbox, showering her with sand.

"Aghhh!" Mona stopped to cough and hack. "UGH, no, there's gonna be grains of sand in my outfit for weeks!"

"WEHHHAHAHAHAHA! That's what you get for messing with #1!"

Huffingly shaking herself off, Mona got back on her scooter and floored it in the hopes of closing the gap between her and Wario once more.

"That does it!" she growled. "I'm gonna have to pull off something super risky to catch him!"

She slammed on the brakes and went into a handstand on the handlebars as it slowed to a stop. Using all her upper body strength, she front-flipped all the way onto the back of Wario's motorcycle, landing with an audible thud.

"Heh?" He turned slightly. "What the?!"

"YOU'RE _PAYING_ FOR THAT _PIZZA_!"

"RRR, NO WAY!" Wario attempted to shake her off the motorcycle. "HIT! THE! ROAD!"

"You wish!" Mona retained her grip as she climbed down and squeezed behind Wario on the seat. "No more Mrs. Nice Mona!"

She wrestled with him, covered his eyes, flicked him, tickled him, pinched him, jostled him until he finally lost control of the motorcycle, which went tumbling and crashing into a big tree. Wearily, Mona rose and grabbed Wario's ankle (which made him release a tiny fart) before he could crawl away.

He anxiously looked back at the damage. "Wahhhhh! The Wario Bike! You girly _chump_! Got any idea how much Dribble and Spitz are gonna charge me fo- -?!"

"Do YOU have any idea what you've put me through?!" fumed Mona, tightening her grip. "Over a pizza?!"

"You just never let a guy get a word in, do ya?!"

"You got me chasing you half way across the city! Over a PIZZA!"

"Like you gotta remind me! You're CRAZY!"

"ME?! I bet you don't even have any money, ya maniac!"

" _WARIO_! _BIKE_!"

"I COULD'VE DIED TODAY, OVER A _PIZZA_!" screeched Mona. "...this was the most fun day of my life! Hahahaha!"

She went into a laughing fit, but even after she'd released Wario, he didn't take the opportunity to make a run for it. He just looked back and forth between her and what used to be his motorcycle. Then he slowly stood and dusted himself off.

"You're a pretty weird one," he remarked. "...but I think even weirdoes who don't know when to quit aren't so bad."

"Haha, same to you!" Mona collected herself. "Never had a dine-&-dasher go nearly that far! That was pretty impressive!"

"So..." Wario crossed his arms. "Truce?"

Mona gave a little smirk and kissed him on the nose. "Truce! Look, since you clearly need to put your savings toward that bike, I'll let you get away this time, but only on one condition."

"W-Wh-Wha-What's that?" Wario managed to say.

"Next time you eat at Mona Pizza, you've absolutely gotta pay for it no matter what!" Mona adjusted her helmet. "With a tip!"

"TIP?!" That regained Wario's attention. "BAH, Wario never leaves tips! What kinda- -?!"

"Not a _payment_ tip, just a bit of advice. So I can make my wardrobe as cool as yours!"

"Oh." Wario shrugged. "Okay."

Mona pointed at him accusingly. "Promise?!"

Wario flinched, showing his uncrossed fingers. "Promise, promise!"

"Awesome!" Mona was back to her perky self. She retrieved her scooter and got seated. "See ya, Wario! Don't keep me waiting too long!"

"Later...Mona," Wario waved after her as she sped into the distance. "Huh! That WAS a pretty good pizza. Tomorrow, after I fix my bike...I oughta go back for another."

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(A/N: Ahhhhh hope you enjoyed this. I don't even really know what to say, it was pretty straightforward. But hopefully you followers of mine like the new version of my profile pic. Can't believe it took me 5 years to update it...

So yeah, please review, fave and point out any mistakes I made because it seems like there's aLWAYS GOTTA BE ONE, and check out my profile for all kinds of other stuff you might like. Take care.)


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